Cracked Piece I: Internet Prison
by Laughing on Purpose
Summary: Intent on saving his brother Ace, Luffy is attempting to rescue him from the only internet prison in the world, I Fell Down. He begins traveling there...by downloading a server client. Mild humor included. Rated T because Hancock is a molester, and Momonga likes swearing. Gotta love line breaks.


Boa Hancock was on the computer, waiting for her download to finish. The estimated download time was 4 days, and she was already waiting for 3 and a half. _Only twelve hours left,_ she thought. "Luffy," she whsipered. "The download`s almost done. All that`s left is the files of the prisoners in Level 6, where your brother is being held."

"Alright Hammock! Thanks!" Luffy whispered back.

The Pirate Empress blushed deeply, as she took anything Luffy said as a marriage proposal. "Oh no, Luffy! It`s too early for us to make babies out of each other!" In her head, her thoughts sounded more like _`F*** ME! F*** ME RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, F*** ME!`_

Luffy stared at her with a _What the fu..._ expression on his face. He ran away from her, into the kitchen, where minutes later she heard him slobbering all over the fridge (A week later, she burned it).

* * *

**The Next Day, 8:41 A.M.**

"Luffy! The download is finished!"

The 300,000,000 berry bounty pirate ran into the room. "Lemme see!"

Hancock`s laptop screen displayed the website for the Interactive Internet Prison, I Fell Down. The Warlord clicked, "log in", typed in her username and password, then went inside the server. Vice-Admiral Momonga`s face appeared on the screen.

"Royal Warlord of the Sea, Boa Hancock! What have you come here for?"

"I have decided to accept the Marine`s request. I will go to Marineford, at Portgas D. Ace`s execution, to battle with the forces of Yonkou Whitebeard, in the war."

Momonga looked at her through the screen suspiciously. "Very well," he began, "But why have you signed into the Interactive Internet Prison`s server! It does not make sense!"

Hancock pushed back her dark hair. "It is because..._I am beautiful!_"

Momonga groaned. "That doesn`t work on a computer screen, dumbass!"

"How dare you speak to me like that!" Hancock gasped, and fainted.

"..."

* * *

**2 Hours and 58 Minutes Later**

After many hours of Momonga shouting at the "f***ing b****" to "wake the f*** up," Sandersonia came into the room and woke her sister up, gently shaking her shoulders while repeating her name. While her long green hair tickled her face, Hancock woke up. "How long was I out?"

"You were out for nearly 3 hours, du- I mean, Boa Hancock." He decided not to call her a dumbass again, afraid that she might pass out for an even longer period of time. "My Internet connection is thin, and my time is thinner. Daddy T-Bone is turning of the Internet at 12:00, which is only 21 minutes from now. So hurry up and state why you logged onto the website."

But Hancock just sat there in silence.

"Well!"

"Answer me!"

Turning away from the screen, Hancock handed her phone, a Samsung Galaxy S, to Sandersonia, and whispered something in her ear. Her sister nodded and walked away with the phone, out of the room.

"If you do not answer, I will cut you off of the server and permaban you."

"I`m giving you 10 seconds," Momonga threatened. He began counting from 1 to 10, pausing each time he counted. When he got to 7, Hancock began to speak.

"It is because-

* * *

**Inside the Ship`s Hallway**

Sandersonia turned on the Galaxy S, and dialed a number. Her fingers touched the number combination 347-667-KUMA. She put the phone on her ear. After a few seconds, a voice was heard from the phone.

"Hello?" Royal Warlord of the Sea Bartholomew Kuma answered.

"Is this Kuma?"  
"Yes. And you are?"

"Boa Hancock`s sister, Sandersonia."  
"Why are you calling me?"

"I have a favor to ask,you see..."

* * *

Hancock`s speech was interrupted by a knock on the door of Momonga`s Marine ship. "Come in!"

"Thank you, but I unfortunately cannot fit inside this room. Anyway, I come from MMM Pizza, the pizzeria made specially for Marines. Someone on this ship ordered an extra-large triple-cheese Hawaiian pineapple pizza, which, plus tax, is 7,000 berries in total."

Hancock silently cheered. Kuma had heard her request! She reminded herself to buy him a new hat the next time she saw him.

Momonga took a dark brown wallet with **MARINE **printed in bold, blue letters, taking out ten 1,000 berry bills. He got up from the laptop, whispered _You got lucky _to Hancock, and walked towards the door. When he opened it, he was surely confused.

"Is this some kind of stupid joke?" he shouted at Kuma. "Why the f*ck are you on this ship, and how the f*ck did you get on it?"

"I do not know what you are talking about," Kuma calmly said. "I`m just the delivery boy for MMM Pizza."

"Shut the f*ck up, you f*cking retarded bear! You have no right to pull pranks on the f*cking Navy, you-"

He never finished his sentence, because the Warlord had stuffed a bar of Dove soap inside his mouth. While he was distracted, Kuma took his time removing his glove. By the time Momonga had recovered, it was already too late. Kuma had slapped him, and before he knew it, he was flying out of the Marine ship so fast he had already disappeared from view of the ship. BK had taken the liberty to take out a blue marker and write "Kuma wuz here" on the wall. Away from Hancock`s view, he had also pulled down his pants and did his business inside Momonga`s desk. Then he teleported out of the ship, leaving the pizza on the floor as if taunting the Navy.

Hancock laughed.


End file.
